There are a number of strategies that we have found useful and effective in working with adult leadership at our temples.  These are skills that we think are especially appropriate for working with your Rabbi, Temple Board, and Temple employees, but of course they hold true for all your other adult interactions, too.

Time management

Plan ahead

• The farther ahead of time that you can give people information about what you are doing, the more impressed they will be with your organization, and the more respect they will have for you in the future.
• If you procrastinate and discover at the last minute that you need help, the adults around you are less likely to have the time to help you out.
• The more advance notice you can give adults when you want to do something, the more likely they are agree to what you want to do.
• The more time you give yourselves, the easier it will be to find compromise or a back-up plan if your original idea is turned down.

Respect the time of others

• If you schedule a meeting, show up on time. 
• If you say that you’re going to make a phone call, put together a write-up, get supplies together, or write an article, do it by when you say you will.
• When you go to meetings, go in with a clear agenda for why you are having the meeting.  That way, the other person will feel like you value the time that s/he is giving you.  It will also make your meeting more productive.

Asking for help

There is no shame in asking for help  (In fact, it is a sign of strength.)

Asking for help can create positive working relationships

• It can make the other person feel needed or useful.
• It is a way to keep the lines of communication open and let others know what you are up to.
• It can be an opportunity for you to establish a positive relationship with the adults in your community, which will make them more likely to come to your assistance in the future.

Asking for help can help you to do your job better

• Seeing how someone else approaches your job can give you new ideas.
• You never know what someone else has to teach you until you ask.

It is your job

• At the end of the day, you have a responsibility to your youth group.  The most important thing is not that you prove how great you are or that you do it all yourself.  No one expects you to be perfect.  If you can’t do it on your own, you owe it to yourself and to everyone else to get the help that you need to get the job done.

Communication

Get to know the adults around your temple.  Make a point of smiling and saying hello to them when you see them. 

Everyone likes to know what’s going on. 

• Try to keep everyone up to date.  You could C.C. temple leaders on some of your e-mails or drop them a monthly note saying what you’re up to.
• Ask them whether they have any questions.  This is a simple strategy for making them feel involved,

If you don’t understand what is expected of you, ask!

If something is upsetting to you, tell the person responsible.

• Otherwise, nothing will change.
• On the other hand, if you do voice a complaint, do so kindly.
• Also, DON’T voice a complaint if you DON’T want something to change.

Perspective

The world doesn’t revolve around NFTY.

• No… It really doesn’t.
• Your youth group is one part of a larger community, and your adult leadership has all kinds of things that they are responsible for.  If they make a decision that doesn’t coincide with yours, it is probably because they have to take into account many factors that you don’t.  Give them the benefit of the doubt, and recognize that sometimes things won’t work out exactly the way you want.
• It’s okay to ask for an explanation of why a decision was made.  Knowing can help you to be better prepared in the future.  Just keep in mind that, although you may disagree with the adult leadership’s priorities, you probably can’t change them.

Don’t overreact.

• If you meet up with an inconvenience, see it for what it is, and look for a way around it.  The calmer you stay, the better you’ll be at thinking rationally.
• Take three deep breaths.  Count to ten.  Imagine yourself in the middle of an empty field on a spring day.  Then look at your situation again with fresh eyes.
• The failure of one TYG program isn’t the end of the world.  We know it feels like it.  It sucks.  But life will go on, and lashing out at the people around you isn’t going to help anything.

Keep a positive attitude in the face of adversity.

• This is a real sign of maturity.  You stand to gain more by showing people how you can work through a problem with optimism than you do by getting bent out of shape.  No one likes to work with people who are negative or irritable. If you can work to keep a smile on your face, the adults around you are more likely to want to help you think of a solution. 
• It’ll make you feel better, too.  Everyone feels better when they’re smiling.

Be honest 
It really is the best policy.